God Made Dirt
A puppet skit for a dog and a farmer character.
Scotty: Aaaah! Ah, ah, ah! It's on me! It's all over me! Ew, ew, get it off!
Mr. Webber: Now, now, sonny. Jest you calm your-self a mite-bit. Now, what be a-troublin' ye?
Scotty: There's yucky-icky dirt on my beautiful, beautiful fur! I tripped on a rock and fell down, and now it's all over me! Aaah!
Mr. Webber: Now, now, son.
Scotty: Ew! Stupid dirt! Stupid rock! I hate it!
Mr. Webber: Now, son, you don't really hate dirt! God made that dirt, I reckon.
Scotty: I still hate it! It's disgusting! I am a thorough-bred pedigreed prime specimen of puppyhood! I'm too sophisticated to have dirt on me!
Mr. Webber: Ye really be a-hatin' dirt, now do ye?
Scotty: Yes. I really "be a-hatin'" it.
Mr. Webber: Now, do ye hate flowers?
Scotty: Of course not. Flowers are lovely and smell nice, not gross like dirt.
Mr. Webber: Ah, but you'd never be a-havin' any flowers without that there dirt.
Scotty. What?
Mr. Webber: Flowers have to have dirt to grow in.
Scotty: I guess you're right.
Mr. Webber: Yeah, son, everything God made is useful.
Scotty: Everything? Really?
Mr. Webber: Ever-thang!
Scotty: What about worms? I don't think they're useful. Disgusting wiggly slimy things.
Mr. Webber: Well, now son, them there worms are busy tunneling in the ground, and helping out all the plants. Their tunnels let in oxygen and water an make the plants all healthy and whatnot.
Scotty: What about daisies? They're pretty, but I don't think they're useful.
Mr. Webber: Ah, but all plants make that-there oxygen for us-uns to breathe!
Scotty: Okay, I guess God did make everything useful, but there's one more thing that God made that I need right now!
Mr. Webber: Water! I need a bath! Eww! Dirty, dirty, dirty, dirt! Get it off me! [exits]
A skit written by Valerie Marcum, from EBAC in Clinton, TN
A representative of Rotation.org reformatted this post to improve readability.
